wake up, work , sleep ….Phew !!knackered !!

via Daily Prompt: Knackered

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Well Before I start to write anything today, must confess I missed penning down , I missed giving words  to my erratic thoughts, I missed being totally and solely “me”!

I wont blame my life, my work , or any damn thing which kept me away from this. Perhaps lack of self motivation and my muse has left me for a while , that  was the reason probably,  for which I was running out of steam  …. Today after ages( it seems so!) , this itch to write again provoked and evoked my  repressed desires to be with me again . 

So Here I am after a long  hiatus , all set to dive in once again…

In Response to this daily prompt: knackered …I can  relate to this so much today .

we wake up daily  ,get into our routine activities , eat like we are just feeding our gut to be alive , rush to work , come back eat again ( following same ritual gut feeding) and finally turn in on our King/queen size beds.

Aren’t we all tired of all  this, like literally . lets take a break , pause & unwind. we are humans not some programmed robots .

Bunking office once in a blue moon, to be with your family and yourself isn’t a crime at all, it wont sabotage your career for sure.. 😉

Give a break to your domestic   help and get involved with all the cleaning and moping ..end of the day it’s your house not your maid’s.

spend some quality  time in cooking with your spouse , instead of going out to dine in some lavish restaurant spending  extravagantly . You will end up getting more closer making your bond even more deeper.

 

I wonder , we spend so much time in talking , talking on phones, talking to colleagues, talking about people, talking at people!!!.. Have we ever got into real conversations ???..Like one to one , be it your spouse, your childhood friend, your sibling. when You can open up your soul and get into a real heart-to-heart chat.

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Lets just take this masquerade off , and be humans . Lets just give a call to our loved ones and instead of saying a ” hello” just say ” yes I have missed  You” ..Lets take an oath to stop, pause, breathe and learn to Live in the moment ,to find happiness with in , to giggle like kids with Kids , to not ignore a needy soul  to lend your hand if at all you have all the capacity to help, to sit with your parents and thank them for the quality of  life they had given you.

Life is not all about wake up… work… sleep all knackered..n then wake   to get into the loop time and gain  …!..lets make it worth living  for!!Lets get  out of our respective comfort zones and check on our efficiencies,  lets get tired by laughing like lunatics rather than spending hours in front of the idiot box surfing channels cluelessly , lets clean up that  scrabble board and carom boards and play again, lets stop by to admire our spouse’s every small effort to keep us happy!!! To sum up lets just stop being like machines ..I am sure end of the day even if we get tired we will definitely  have a peaceful sleep.

 

Once I wind up I am surely going to make some cold coffee for myself now   ( summers have kicked in) and take my own time to do stuffs which are still undone, and before that will rediscover my old lost forgotten muse .. I wont end up just being knackered and exhausted by doing simply nothing except following my routine.

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Love All,

Pallavi 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

wake up, work , sleep ….Phew !!knackered !!

via Daily Prompt: Knackered

images.jpg

Well Before I start to write anything today, must confess I missed penning down , I missed giving words  to my erratic thoughts, I missed being totally and solely “me”!

I wont blame my life, my work , or any damn thing which kept me away from this. Perhaps lack of self motivation and my muse has left me for a while , that  was the reason probably,  for which I was running out of steam  …. Today after ages( it seems so!) , this itch to write again provoked and evoked my  repressed desires to be with me again . 

So Here I am after a long  hiatus , all set to dive in once again…

In Response to this daily prompt: knackered …I can  relate to this so much today .

we wake up daily  ,get into our routine activities , eat like we are just feeding our gut to be alive , rush to work , come back eat again ( following same ritual gut feeding) and finally turn in on our King/queen size beds.

Aren’t we all tired of all  this, like literally . lets take a break , pause & unwind. we are humans not some programmed robots .

Bunking office once in a blue moon, to be with your family and yourself isn’t a crime at all, it wont sabotage your career for sure.. 😉

Give a break to your domestic   help and get involved with all the cleaning and moping ..end of the day it’s your house not your maid’s.

spend some quality  time in cooking with your spouse , instead of going out to dine in some lavish restaurant spending  extravagantly . You will end up getting more closer making your bond even more deeper.

 

I wonder , we spend so much time in talking , talking on phones, talking to colleagues, talking about people, talking at people!!!.. Have we ever got into real conversations ???..Like one to one , be it your spouse, your childhood friend, your sibling. when You can open up your soul and get into a real heart-to-heart chat.

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Lets just take this masquerade off , and be humans . Lets just give a call to our loved ones and instead of saying a ” hello” just say ” yes I have missed  You” ..Lets take an oath to stop, pause, breathe and learn to Live in the moment ,to find happiness with in , to giggle like kids with Kids , to not ignore a needy soul  to lend your hand if you at all you have all the capacity to help, to sit with your parents and thank them for the quality of  life they had given you.

Life is not all about wake up… work… sleep all knackered..n then wake   to get into the loop time and gain  …!..lets make it worth living  for!!Lets get  out of our respective comfort zones and check on our efficiencies,  lets get tired by laughing like lunatics rather than spending hours in front of the idiot box surfing channels cluelessly , lets clean up that  scrabble board and carom boards and play again, lets stop by to admire our spouse’s every small effort to keep us happy!!! To sum up lets just stop being like machines ..I am sure end of the day even if we get tired we will definitely  have a peaceful sleep.

 

Once I wind up I am surely going to make some cold coffee for myself now   ( summers have kicked in) and take my own time to do stuffs which are still undone, and before that will rediscover my old lost forgotten muse .. I wont end up just being knackered and exhausted by doing simply nothing except following my routine.

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Love All,

Pallavi 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

weekly photo challenge: wish

we all wake up daily and start our day with a wish or more. A workaholic’s wish “Oh !!How I wish  my presentation should  go really well today ” ..A  working mother’s  wish “I wish I could get free from work little earlier today to spend time with my kids“..A writer’s wish “ I wish I could knit different stories in my dreams too“..!!

wouldn’t it be amusing  enough to wake up and find all our wishes  coming true just like that!!!…If such starts happening the phrase “ I wish I could or I would “ would certainly  stop giving thrills to us. We experience a strange , eccentric feeling while making any odd  wish and hoping it to turn out the way we had wished..and that unmatchable sentiment or feeling when we receive things, we had always wished is indescribable.

Just imagine!! what if we blow on a dandelion puff while making a wish and it comes true after all the seeds are blown off, and how about bottling a wish , write  a wish on a piece of paper , fold it ,and roll it inside a bottle and cork it up, and that tiny coin in a wishing well  straight out from your pocket .. And yes that wish we make on every loose eye lash found on our cheek ( very much school time thing )Do they really work!!??

All my life I had just simply wished to get a” Happy potion”. I wish I could simply sprinkle it all around  and make some really crest fallen souls gleam with happiness forever.!!

well I have many such ethereal , enticing bucket list of wishes, on whom I am working on and few I guess will be only fulfilled in my dreams!!

Everytime I blow my Birthday candle, I close my eyes , and make this simple wish which I know will forever come true instantaneously is to be by your side for infinity.

That’s my picture in response to  today’s “weekly photo challenge Wish”

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Me and my Husband ( one of my wishes which came true!!)..Well I guess I must have wished him on  my loose stray eye lash in my teens someday  ..;)

 

 

“The Day she fell out of love ”!!

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Adjusting few  creases on her sea green cotton Saree, She got ready to pick her 3 years old son from his school. She took a gander at herself  on her wall mirror in her ever so  neat and immaculate bed room. Tall,  slender charming with a very pleasant smile and a sharp contour of face was too much arresting.

Reva , 32 , a simple housewife today left her Job way back to be a full time mother to her only son Reyansh who was a preemie , She delivered him  when the fetus was just declared viable . After several days in Neonatal intensive care unit , battling for his  life , her little one  was finally discharged from hospital.. Ever since then Reva espoused a life where she was always very over caring for her son. People often used to satirize her calling her a “possessive mother”. She never gave a hoot , Indifferent she had already singled out to be a Mother…” A Full Time mother” to be precise.

Dates  back , In Late  90’s Reva in her perky 20’s was the most noted and distinguished girl in her college. A   Gold medalist from psychology department, she wasn’t just extremely good at academic standing only, she was endowed with a beautiful voice too. A perfect combination of Ms ” beauty with brains ” . No wonder boys were swooning over her enchanting looks and smart mouth skills. Few of them left no stone unturned to woo this smart mouthed girl. But Reva fell for a man , a winsome settled man few years older to her , calm sophisticated and exactly the way Reva had always wished to settle down for. Both young hearts met in a family function, after a small chinwag that evening , they kept finding reasons to see each other time and again. Reva was kind of galvanized with this man’s incredible charisma. Soon they took vows and became one after few months of a beautiful courtship.

The beautiful new bride..Reva was going through a medley of emotions. She was highly elated and at the same time a forlorn look was always there on her exquisite bridal face,   she was leaving the place where she spent almost a quarter of her life, but her trust on her husband filled her with enthusiasms to start a new life with this man who had already arrested her in his warm assuring embrace …. when she was crying inconsolably all the way to her new home !!

 

 A sudden screech of wheels and honk of horn of the school bus , pulled Reva out of her reverie. She hugged her little bundle of joy and took him in her arms, back to home  she got engaged   in feeding  him and  and after a small tete a tete about his school, his friends, his teacher’s mini appreciaton note for him , small Reyansh turned in snuggling with her. Tears rolled down on her cheeks  .Reva’s life  turned Topsy – turvy soon  after her marriage.Romance flew out of the  window few days after their wedding, She was ill-treated , accused , humiliated by none other than her own husband, the man who already seemed to be very docile and caring when they were seeing each other.Her  soul was constantly bedeviled and befouled by his harsh and disagreeable statements.He wanted nothing except a “trophy wife” to display her with pride among-st  his so called affluent society .Amidst all this turbulence in her life, she suddenly  got a reason where she was bewildered , excited , despondent , hopeful again medley of emotions  ..she was pregnant!!

The day she got this news, she discovered she had fallen for this unborn life in her womb and at the same  had fallen out of love  with the one who had once promised her to keep her happy through out her life. Reva was never weak and fragile  , but false hopes and artificial emotions had blindfolded her .She got up slowly from bed , walking towards her Study  table she started writing on her note pad.

Dear Ansh,

I gave my heart and soul to you ..to our relationship …all these years to get heart broken time and again ..I had cried all nights where u were sleeping just next to me, I had cooked for you with a wounded soul but u were unperturbed absolutely, I was unnerved everyday .

I had attended high end parties with you , where you had never stopped admiring me in front of your friends , and back to home your usual self have annihilated me .

Each day each  night you never stopped damaging my feelings, eroding my soul, and breaking my hopes.

Today am done, am done with those beautiful dreams of a beautiful life, done with flashing fake smiles when I am crying inconsolably inside, done with your efforts to belittle me. Today I am not leaving you, I am going to leave the reason who has damaged my self esteem enough. 

I hope and wish You a very good life, but fortunately or unfortunately I wont be a part of it..not anymore !!

Yours ever,

Reva

 

No Reva didn’t quit,  she definitely decided to  call off this  unsuccessful marriage and got ready  to be a single mother to her only son.

Same night  she freed herself from this vengeance, she flew down to her parent’s place, and with little Reyansh by her side she had to start afresh.whole night she was calm ( she had cried enough before !!) and was preparing herself  to answer her anxious and worried parents next morning, who were very much muddled and scared looking at their only daughter’s condition.

Few months later , Reva got a call :-

 

Ms Reva, good Morning ..calling from..Mind & soul  health care pvt ltd!! Your Resume made us to call you to meet our HR manager for a Personal interview . We are highly pleased to see your achievements.we will email you the address just after this call. Looking forward to see you soon.

P.S- To All such Revas out there-

You will fall, you will get hurt, you will be broken, you will feel devastated but once you get  back to normal  sooner or later you will realize you were always worth so much more you were settling for!!

Love all,

-Pallavi

The road taken : to cloud 9 :)

via weekly photo challenge “The road taken”

It was month of August 2013, gloomy monsoon ,  damp air  and erratic work schedules have totally desolated me, when suddenly my husband announced “lets go out and have a short vacation”..!! Eureka!!! we ( me and my daughter) gleamed and squealed with delight.

Monsoon outing :

pair of sneakers, sweat pants , hoodies , glares,sun blockers and   a box of all required medications, packed all stuffs and we made a beeline for Nainital ( one of the most  exotic hill stations in Uttarakhand, India). we boarded the overnight train “Ranikhet express” and after a refreshing forty winks we woke up only to get lost in the beauty and tranquility of nature. We deboarded  next morning ,and  I was befuddled to see huge sky touching green mountains all around , and the saffron hue of  dawn sky was glittering like gold. Away from the city of skyscrapers I was pretty much delighted to reach this heavenly place “Nainital”.

After a quick refreshment , we steered for “Mukteshwar” a town in the Nainital district of Uttarakhand( sits high in the  kumaon hills at an altitude of 7500 feet and 51 kms from Nainital). we hired a tourist guide  who all the way kept us amused and gave all minute details regarding weather and old stories related to localities  (Google!! I keep it handy though but network in mountains -all gone) .walking all the way on  those narrow and steep roads ( which left me all dizzy, exasperated though) finally led us to this beautiful scenic and breathtaking hill top . I was in awe of that bewitching beauty of  that place which had beguiled me completely. sharing few pictures where I was spell bound and gloomy monsoon turned out to be a cheerful vacation time in the mountains.1150972_584243808285341_1937834516_n.jpg

That’s my husband in blue tee and the cheerful guide..:)

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“Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop away from you like the leaves of Autumn.”
John Muir, The Mountains of California

Those days of being “stay at home” Mom: surreal days!!

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Unkempt half stuck strands , pale blue dowdy pajama, befuddled ,  grumpy  yet good looking young lady with a very adorable baby (not more than 4 or 5 months) gripped my attention the other day, When I was much very much engaged in teaching few chapters from E.V.S to my 7 years old for her upcoming exams  after a very tiny afternoon siesta.

yelling at her domestic help and hovering over her head on her so big impeccable loggia she was running around instructing her maid who was both amused and bewildered ( I could pretty well figure out from her expressions) . A sudden tap on my shoulder snapped me out from my reverie. With his ever enchanting smile stood besides me was my   husband , who  handed over  me a hot cup of coffee with a clear look on his face .” What’s so interesting  out there”??..Pointing at the lady I stated ,” She is struggling hard to keep up with those post partum blues”..!!

Motherhood is one of the most beautiful gifts for every woman for sure. It gives you a tiny bundle of joy at one hand and in the other hands it gives sleepless nights, new responsibilities , and those innumerable mood swings episodes !!! It seems nearly impossible to feel yourself and get some “me time” and thinking of that perfect pre pregnancy body appears surreal.

This journey of mine wasn’t easy at all when I decided to take a break from my job , I had no plans when to resume( must admit, not a good planner), no clues whether I will ever get some wee bit of time to hit a salon again,  almost insomniac all the time I had this terrible emotions on my sleeve. It was an emotional roller coaster , when sudden changes in my routine took a toll on my life.Eventually, things started falling into place. I somehow managed to get some time for myself( all thanks to my little kid , she was and is  never so cranky child). The first thing I started to do I remember is I started living in the moments, I used to take mini cat naps often to keep my mood swings at bay, and yes weekends with husband was like a bonus.!..I thoroughly enjoyed her growing up part , infanthood ,babyhood and childhood( Ongoing Now). capturing each moment of hers , her first baby unsteady steps, her first ever “Mama” word , her non stop blabbering , her tough yet pleasurable weaning days …I had accepted this new change gradually and happily and without giving a second thought I preferred to be a “stay at home” Mom. All those years I had faced this question “when will you resume  your career” umpteenth times  , I simply had a content smile and the usual answer was ” As soon as my baby n I want to” !It was totally my independent decision to leave work and it would be solely my decision to resume ,  I just had one thing in mind to give my whole time and energy to the little part of me who never ceased to amaze me with all her daily new picked activities .

Three amazing years, and my little girl started her pre school days , we both suffered the separation anxiety . Symptoms eventually disappeared when she got her set of new friends.I had a feeling then..”Well,  my right time has come to resume finally”.. Not that my little one doesn’t need me anymore , not that I was sick of being called as a “stay at home” mother ,but just this feeling to restart and pick up  from where I left off invigorated me to work again.

Next morning, when I was taking a stroll in the near by park. I ran into that young grumpy but good looking mom or should I say “new Mom”. After few casual chit chats she uninhibitedly asked ” How do you look so happy..I mean you being a mother too”.??well,  I had my parts of post-partum blues honey..;)

P.S- Kudos to all working mothers who resume work as early as possible and to those who prefer to take a break and be a full time mother , Motherhood is entirely a bliss which has to be enjoyed and we should bask in accepting our bodily changes ( temporary though) , hormonal surges,  and several sleepless nights and erratic days.Sooner or later things fall into place and we get back our lives back on track .

 

Love All,

Pallavi 🙂

 

 

 

Glitter in my veins!!

via Daily Prompt: Glitter

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The moment I came across this word prompt today, I had a sparkling thought ..a thought I was born with !!

If I go back a  little, right from childhood I had this affinity for sparkles…a dazzling gown with a big satin bow , those cute butterflies shaped hair pins with shimmery wings, tiny blingy bellies  and I remember those days where I used to drape( failed attempts though) my mom’s saree putting on a big red bindi and yes to complete that look I never used to forget to put some shining lip gloss…Ahh!! those days!!

Today I have outgrown that dazzling frock, those shimmery butterfly winged hair pins, those blingy pair of my bellies but that sparkle that shine is still intact…deep with in me…adhering to me from inside, growing in me and flowing in my veins!! I am not scared of darkness , it wont last longer. I am not scared of failures, it constantly pushes me to achieve my goals, I am not scared of criticisms, the more they condemn ..the more I burgeon.!!.The only thing that spooks me at times is.. what If one day I wake up and stop shining, what if I find myself pinned down by darkness , what if I fail to recall why I have to glow , what if……!!

well these” what ifs” fizzle out , the moment I discern I am not only made of bones, muscles , ligaments n vital organs  I am certainly made of a tough glass also, I may fall down crash on the floor , break into several minute pieces , but I wont stop to sparkle, every bit of me will glitter and continue to bedazzle..!!

 

I glitter from with in, it flows in my veins !!

 

Love All,

Pallavi   🙂

 

 

 

 

world around u seems so Blurred!!

via Daily Prompt: Blur

Ever since you came into my life I wonder world around you  looks  why so blurred !!! From those days when you were in my womb I craved to feel you, to touch you, to hold you, to lift you and caress your soft supple cheeks with care!!

That first flutter inside me, Your first ever tiny kick , it made me even more desperate to bring you into this beautiful world , I had so much to talk and share!!

I kept counting days , nights seemed even more longer, All I wanted to see my tiny adorable thing who was growing inside , whom I could hear  ,  could feel its subtle movements , wished to meet the one who was very much breathing inside me !!

The Day they brought you to me all wrapped , I held you, touched you, lifted you up to touch your  so soft supple cheeks, I forgot that pain , pain of sleepless nights, pain of throwing up whatever I used to eat, pain of those mood swings I had suffered..

I brought  you a little more closer, those pair of shining tiny eyes, and that small curve on your pink lips , two tiny   drops of happiness  rolled down my cheeks, I looked up everything seemed hazy then ,I again looked at my heart who was in my arms beating outside my body “you”…. the only thing  I could clearly see was you!!

 

Ever since you came into my life my wingless angel, world around you had always seemed so Blurred!!

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words from my heart ..in response to daily  word prompt”Blur”!!

 

11898837_940910055952046_7398282193622896457_nvia Photo Challenge: Against the Odds

 

I took this pic from my moving car in the early morning , after a heavy rain fall while coming down the hills after spending few exhilarating days in this  beautiful place Mc leod ganj (suburb of Dharamshala in  Himachal pradesh)

Dark cloud settling over head, horribly stormy weather stopped us from moving ahead. For a spell, I felt I got  trapped in the thick of this never ending calamitous weather  forever..But as they say “No storm lasts forever”!!

Suddenly sun shone amidst dark clouds, my hope smiled and we kept on moving till we reached our destination.. !!

 

 

Dawn shine 

No matter how dark the  night is!!

No matter how terrible and devastating the storm is!!

a small ray of shining sun  peeps and smiles from the midst of cheerless gloom,

spreading light across the dark sky , with gleams of sunshine letting pure radiance bloom!!

– Pallavi 🙂

Love All!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

second chance

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My cell phone buzzed!!…” Dollie  calling”..

I picked up..”Hello”

voice from other side..Hey !! Di.. I have something to say..(Giggles)…I fell in love “once  again”..!!

Talking incessantly, and struggling with my perpetual thoughts simultaneously.

I was glad, was flabbergasted, was stunned …!!!!

Few years back , when she was suffering in a bad relationship , she took a very bold step to move on, to let go of those haunting memories which were amusing for her once..She chose to free herself from shackle of fake emotions and love , to breathe again!! Time heals everything!! isn’t it?? Actually No..It doesn’t heal anything it just gives one enough strength to endure and upgrades ones maturity level.

Years After, too much preoccupied with work  and giving her best to cope up with unpredictable turns in her life, unexpectedly she comes across this wonderful guy who was charming enough to grip her attention , who was warm enough to comfort her , who was gentle enough to furnish her with with all the care and love she always deserved. Hesitant, and still in dilemma …she didn’t get smitten with his charms.

The gentle man leaves no stone unturned to gain her love .They met once , then they kept on seeing each other till the day she felt yes he had actually swept her off her feet,and she blithely declares one day…”Finally she fell in love once again, and she has gotten over those remnants of broken feelings”..New found love and trust gave her all the confidence to get hitched  to this charming guy straight from her dreams!!

Flashing her beautiful finger adorned with a glittering solitaire, she sent a pic to me with a voice mail attached..”Hey ..Di..I fell in love once  again,  he proposed me today and we are getting married soon”!!

Every small girl grows up dreaming  of a  perfect wedding day.Soon the bride to be , got busy with wedding plans..bridal attire, making the guest list, honeymoon destination and what not!! Amidst this pre – wedding hustle and bustle the so much in love souls kept talking incessantly all nights, least bothered to get bridal beauty sleeps just before the much awaited event.

Next morning was  her life’s grand event, previous night we both couldn’t sleep, reminiscing old times we giggled, anticipating her future plans she  was ecstatic and insomniac..moreover sleep was at far cry  from the both sets of eyes that night, that one last   night of her spinsterhood.she cuddled with me, and I could see thousands twinkling stars in her so big bright eyes, and she murmured softly ” Am i getting married , seriously”!!

sound of conchs, cacophonous and erratic conversation of all aged ladies, children running around all the places, the whole house was gloriously decorated ..a perfect scene of a big fat  Indian wedding it was!!small and big rituals started, every single one was just too much engrossed , I could suddenly discern the pale and gloom on the face of  very much glowing bride-to-be , she looked lost in thoughts amidst all those clamorous and boisterous  environment.I could understand that feeling of a girl when she leaves her home leaving behind all her loved ones to enter into a world with innumerable new relations, but something very strange on her face perturbed me….

Di, I don’ t think  I can do this, I cant trust again to be left broken again…

I was stupefied, because this girl who was in front of me today had been the most strong and fearless girl I have ever known, a  past of  one bad relationship couldn’t  affect her so much that she would be this bewildered, Before going for all the rituals she wanted to make a call..a final call to her fiance before she becomes a responsible wife.she picked her phone hastily, and called up…

I closed the door behind and came out of the room , few minutes later she joined all of us . she was never so happy and gleeful before,completing all the rituals while heading towards venue, I asked her

“what did he say to you”?

She replied, with a smile. Her bridal face gleaming  like a pearl!!!

Actually I never called him  , I gave myself a second chance. I don’t know what future holds for me, I am unaware of how my new life treats me, I am totally clueless  how this ever charming guy who never fails to amaze me will turn out as a husband. All I know is I have gotten over my catastrophic past and now wont ever turn back.Tomorrow when i awaken, the slate will be clean, and a new day will stretch before me. constant fear of a terrible tomorrow cant stop me today from giving myself one more chance  to fall in love  all over again with myself  . I am going to give myself and my life another chance from this second!!

We got off the bridal car, taking the new bride by my side I looked up at the  beautiful huge wooden hand carved bridal welcome gate flashing names

        Mukta 

               weds

                     Sanjeev

Love all,

Pallavi   🙂