second chance

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My cell phone buzzed!!…” Dollie  calling”..

I picked up..”Hello”

voice from other side..Hey !! Di.. I have something to say..(Giggles)…I fell in love “once  again”..!!

Talking incessantly, and struggling with my perpetual thoughts simultaneously.

I was glad, was flabbergasted, was stunned …!!!!

Few years back , when she was suffering in a bad relationship , she took a very bold step to move on, to let go of those haunting memories which were amusing for her once..She chose to free herself from shackle of fake emotions and love , to breathe again!! Time heals everything!! isn’t it?? Actually No..It doesn’t heal anything it just gives one enough strength to endure and upgrades ones maturity level.

Years After, too much preoccupied with work  and giving her best to cope up with unpredictable turns in her life, unexpectedly she comes across this wonderful guy who was charming enough to grip her attention , who was warm enough to comfort her , who was gentle enough to furnish her with with all the care and love she always deserved. Hesitant, and still in dilemma …she didn’t get smitten with his charms.

The gentle man leaves no stone unturned to gain her love .They met once , then they kept on seeing each other till the day she felt yes he had actually swept her off her feet,and she blithely declares one day…”Finally she fell in love once again, and she has gotten over those remnants of broken feelings”..New found love and trust gave her all the confidence to get hitched  to this charming guy straight from her dreams!!

Flashing her beautiful finger adorned with a glittering solitaire, she sent a pic to me with a voice mail attached..”Hey ..Di..I fell in love once  again,  he proposed me today and we are getting married soon”!!

Every small girl grows up dreaming  of a  perfect wedding day.Soon the bride to be , got busy with wedding plans..bridal attire, making the guest list, honeymoon destination and what not!! Amidst this pre – wedding hustle and bustle the so much in love souls kept talking incessantly all nights, least bothered to get bridal beauty sleeps just before the much awaited event.

Next morning was  her life’s grand event, previous night we both couldn’t sleep, reminiscing old times we giggled, anticipating her future plans she  was ecstatic and insomniac..moreover sleep was at far cry  from the both sets of eyes that night, that one last   night of her spinsterhood.she cuddled with me, and I could see thousands twinkling stars in her so big bright eyes, and she murmured softly ” Am i getting married , seriously”!!

sound of conchs, cacophonous and erratic conversation of all aged ladies, children running around all the places, the whole house was gloriously decorated ..a perfect scene of a big fat  Indian wedding it was!!small and big rituals started, every single one was just too much engrossed , I could suddenly discern the pale and gloom on the face of  very much glowing bride-to-be , she looked lost in thoughts amidst all those clamorous and boisterous  environment.I could understand that feeling of a girl when she leaves her home leaving behind all her loved ones to enter into a world with innumerable new relations, but something very strange on her face perturbed me….

Di, I don’ t think  I can do this, I cant trust again to be left broken again…

I was stupefied, because this girl who was in front of me today had been the most strong and fearless girl I have ever known, a  past of  one bad relationship couldn’t  affect her so much that she would be this bewildered, Before going for all the rituals she wanted to make a call..a final call to her fiance before she becomes a responsible wife.she picked her phone hastily, and called up…

I closed the door behind and came out of the room , few minutes later she joined all of us . she was never so happy and gleeful before,completing all the rituals while heading towards venue, I asked her

“what did he say to you”?

She replied, with a smile. Her bridal face gleaming  like a pearl!!!

Actually I never called him  , I gave myself a second chance. I don’t know what future holds for me, I am unaware of how my new life treats me, I am totally clueless  how this ever charming guy who never fails to amaze me will turn out as a husband. All I know is I have gotten over my catastrophic past and now wont ever turn back.Tomorrow when i awaken, the slate will be clean, and a new day will stretch before me. constant fear of a terrible tomorrow cant stop me today from giving myself one more chance  to fall in love  all over again with myself  . I am going to give myself and my life another chance from this second!!

We got off the bridal car, taking the new bride by my side I looked up at the  beautiful huge wooden hand carved bridal welcome gate flashing names

        Mukta 

               weds

                     Sanjeev

Love all,

Pallavi   🙂

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word press photography challenge: “SOLITUDE”

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Photo courtesy: “Me”..:)

place:-Mcleodganj, Himachal pradesh..

via Photo Challenge: Solitude

 

I reach everywhere with my imaginary wings, and not letting my presence feel to anyone , in solitary!! Amidst crowd, at times I mislay myself temporarily  to give happiness to others, to live for others…solitary makes me look at myself, to ponder on my unfulfilled dreams, to work on abandoned goals, to obtain somewhat lost identity, to gather the dormant courage inside…. yes…It  certainly gives me “imaginary wings”!!

 

“Solitude makes me both ubiquitous and scarce at the same time”!!

 

 

 

AUDE SAPERE

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Well ! I am pretty sure ,my homeopaths  (readers, friends and colleagues) can pretty much relate to this Title of mine “Aude sapere”!!  when this magical healing science homeopathy was under attack, founder of Homeoapthy Dr. Samuel Hahnemann quoted this poem of famous  German poet Gellert:-

THE TRUTH WE MORTAL NEED
US BLEST TO MAKE AND KEEP
THE ALL-WISE SLIGHTLY COVERED OVER
BUT DID NOT BURY DEEP.
AUDE SAPERE means DARE TO BE WISE 

to be more precise “dare to know” “dare to think for yourself”.

The other day when I was in self   SWOT analysis  mode  , which I do often to upgrade myself into a better version of human.. each moment, each day !! I realized I had few fears ,I had been avoiding or may be had accepted to live with them.Facing the fear, is the biggest weapon one can use, But before that Know your worth, and the magnitude of the fear and its strength to create havoc in your life. I had to confront to kill that slowly developing ,creeping fears inside me.I have an embarrassing confession, I had once a fear of crossing roads( I laugh at it now, though it seemed scary then!!). I used to stand, look around, and pray many times before crossing it ..                                          images

They say,”No one has traveled the road of success without ever crossing the street of failures and fears”.!

I had to know the reason of my fear which almost killed me each day, “was it fear of death”?? “was it fear of getting rammed  &  crushed under running wheels”?? was it ” lack of self confidence”…Absolutely “NO”!! …The fear of mine  was self created negative emotion which was restricting  me to move ahead..  One day I premeditatedly  , chose a path to reach my destination  which had several busy roads to cross, and kept on doing it  multiple times till this fear of mine got  dissolved and dissipated .

I just quoted one of my small fears here, we face many challenges and fears each day, few of us chose to accept the toughest challenge and fight back  and few just sit back and go with the flow!!

Go with the flow!!!!! Naahh ! I am some one who loves to go against the wind now . It was’nt easy ..it is still not, but I have this crazy urge or drive to explore those things which are ” forever forbidden “! Dare to restart a thing which was conceived by you once and aborted mercilessly, Dare to know your limitations ,and work on it and convert them into your strengths,  Dare to rip off that skin of being  weak, and be an ascendant .

Remember, that fun teen time party game “Truth or dare”…Life plays it with us so often. Take your call  accept the truth that You are born with few limitations or reply back and dare to distort, dismantle, dissolve your fears, drawbacks, limitations , weaknesses and cross each road( no matter how many hurdles it has) with ease.

“Dare to know yourself, think for yourself and live for yourself devoid of fear”!!

 

P.S- Next time You come across any small or big fear , chant this mantra ” Aude sapere”and see the magic !!!

 

 

Love All …:)

Pallavi

 

 

Daily Prompt: Scent

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A little  after dusk, standing by my life size window  with a cup of coffee, I could feel the emanating petrichor; the aroma of coffee beans and soon followed by sweet melody of rain drops on tinned terrace sheds.

I closed my eyes sipping from my hot cup ,to reminiscence, to go back to that time  and reach those places which were very “close to heaven” away from grind and clamor of cities …smog…and traffic where I fell for the scent of crispy air of gargantuan mountains; the mystic smell of snow & ice, the salty smell of ocean and red corals and washed of shells on the shore.. the scent of purity ..the sight of serenity!!!!!

I envisaged, why only in mother nature there is a “godly scent in humanity”too!

A tender touch of a new born gives a solace to soul and produces “Scent of motherhood”!!!.

Walking down the lanes,when u run into a needy famished soul and lending a hand of help certainly emits ” scent of saintly deed”!!!.

Two very much deeply in love people,when embrace each other ,with every glittering kiss & every touch of flesh creating perfect love emanate “scent of intimacy”!!.

I have fallen for such wonderful things around umpteenth times which soothes my eyes, triggers my olfactory sense, ultimately touches my soul. I shall keep falling for Such things time and again with distinctive scents smell  of fresh lime, scent of all the flowers when I cross a florist shop, scent of freshly baked muffins, of divine incence sticks , scent of my man when he professes every time his feelings for me, scent of every beautiful soul I come across!!

Breaking out of my trance and chain of thoughts , I realized its time to make an evening meal for my people, serving all my delicacies on table  I called out my family to have a quality supper time !!

Before they showed up I added “scent and essence  of love” to it ..:)

 

P.S – They say “you are never fully dressed without perfume”!!Make sure u wear a perfume which will spread “scent of peony”!!

 

Love all

Pallavi.  🙂

 

 

 

 

via Daily Prompt: Scent

YELLOW

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Crowded with thoughts in my mind, with invisible thought balloons popping up over my head time and again, every time I sit to pen down,  some thing or other distracts me. Today almost after a week when I signed in,  the first word which grabbed my attention was the word “Yellow” in the daily “one word  prompt post “challenge or task today . All I could think  of    it  was the famous  one line we always use to satirize  ” yellow..yellow dirty fellow” . On the contrary Yellow is the most luminous  of all the colors of spectrum , color of sunshine, of marigold ,of daffodils , of sunflower depicting hopes, enthusiasm , optimism  , happiness etc.

This one word compelled me today to think about the little girl I meet everyday while going to my work. A small shabby girl with a basket full of marigolds stands in the safest corner of a busy road wearing a bright smile ( as bright as morning sunshine) with this hope that she will sell all her flowers from that tiny basket of hers to all the passers bys. Its not the marigold its her extremely enchanting smile which grips my attention everyday.

 

 

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yellow isnt just a color, it is an epitome of glory wisdom and harmony.The word for ‘gold’ in Latin is aurum, which means yellow. In ancient Greece, some gods were depicted with yellow hair, and men commonly bleached their hair or spent hours in the sun to turn it yellow, so yellow most poetically called “blond” “fair” and “golden”.

In Ancient Egypt , yellow was associated with gold, which was considered to be imperishable, eternal and indestructible.

Like every coin has two sides , even yellow “the color of happiness ” is associated with envy, jealosy and duplicity.During the Post-Classical period, yellow became firmly established as the color of Judas Iscariot , the disciple who betrayed Jesus christ, even though the Bible  never describes his clothing. well…I wont get into much of ancient history associated with this vibrant color now, rather after I am done with this small article of mine I am going to explore this color more , I shall definitely get few shades of yellow for my closet, I shall gift my granny a brand new Yellow saree which will make her old wrinkled face gleam like shining star, I shall stop and buy few yellow marigolds from that small girl  standing and smiling in that busy road looking around with hope to sell her flowers….errr..may be to spread love, hopes, optimism .

 

I think of yellow I think of that small shabby girl with a smile like sunshine!

I think of yellow, I think of my granny with her white saree embellished with yellow blotches, and a puckered face wearing a wide grin!!

I think of yellow, I think of those marigolds from my backyard and me wearing a  yellow frock amidst them just to twine!!

                           yellow yellow absolutely not dirty fellow now….;)

 

Love All,

Pallavi  🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TIME FOR A”BEDTIMESTORY”MAMA!

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Come to bed, Mama!! time for my bed time story now!!… My five years old calls out showing me all her colorful books. After being  done with a long  tiring  day, looking at wall clock which displayed “10:30 PM”,  I could clearly see sleep was far cry from her so bright sparkling eyes.

On a chilly winter night of mid-January  I immediately  took refuge inside my warm quilt on bed snuggling with her,she hurriedly picked one book from her bunch of other books(frog changed to prince, Three wishes , A city and a village rat etc etc) . she opened, her all time favorite (mine too) pop up book of ” Cinderella” with a  wide  grin as if it was her first time , as if it was our first rather. we had read it umpteenth time. Phew !!

And she reads …” Once upon  a Time……”

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she suddenly pauses and asks very curiously, Mama! who is this Fairy God Mother?? why Cant I see her ?? Why doesn’t she get me that crystal sandal??

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I was flabbergasted, why these questions tonight and to my dismay we haven’t even reached that page yet. I frowned , cleared my throat..Uh!! well…

“Mama”! she calls out again stroking my cheeks. I  looked at her leafing through pages I showed her the popped up picture of Cinderella “the damsel in distress”, and before I could answer my little girl she turned in still grabbing her favorite book.

Ah!! The clock strikes “11 PM” now, I was stunned, stupefied still pondering over those innocently asked questions entering my mind with a twinge of unsettled emotion.

Fairy tales …They cultivate imagination in children and fascinate them with those beautiful fictitious characters and captivating pictures.To my surprise, I was not ready for such sudden questionnaires tonight. I thought again..Uh!!well..”Fairy God Mother” well she exists!! Yes she does!! inside you, inside me, inside every single woman, and she shows up when we need her, every time we forget our existence amidst the clamor and chaos of life, every time we doubt our own virtues, every time fingers raised on us for something or other..she turns up and shows us a virtual mirror to re-find,re-shape, re-define ourselves, and why only a”crystal sandal” our fairy God Mother can get us any given thing in this world.

choice is Yours :- To choose the “damsel in distress” or the “Fairy God mother” ; both prevailing inside. Let the strong triumph over weak and spread optimism, spread love  whipping that invisible magic wand..;)

I smiled, and thought ..”Fairy tales  and bedtime stories”:Are they only meant for children…off course not!! You keep on reading them, intoning them into your heart, and bodily memorizing them,it will change your life-utterly.

Next  night , another “Bed time story ” will unfold and another ignored and over-looked question will be asked ingenuously …

“Mama Get ready now”!!..;)..;)

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Love all…:)

pallavi

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

Tribute to the first man in my life!!

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papa, Are you there !!???.. She was screaming aloud. A deep but assuring  voice replied , ” I have your back, my sweetheart”.!

She kept on pedaling unaware of this,she was on her own. she knew he  was right there , so she had this confidence even if she would have a bad fall .. He would be there to lift her up, to protect her and she kept on pedaling. One day she became a free bird on her lady bird( a trendy cycle of 90’s) riding her first ever machine on roads on streets on her own …

That little birdie of yesterday has turned into a woman today; a wife ; a mother ; and many more roles life offered her to play now. But still whenever she feels little low a sense of diffidence strikes in she screams in her soul …….

Papa , Are you there !!?? And a sound comes back ..”I have always  your back my sweet heart”..!! 

After all, he was is and will always be her ” territorial father “..saving her , protecting her , nurturing her , and making her confident each passing day..

From preschool days till she went to appear her first interview, from her first year’s birthday frock till her first ever “pink satin saree”  ….It was him who was always there right besides her . He taught her patience, persistence and the courage to overcome fear…That girl who used to hide behind him in dark with  a sense of relief that she will be protected from all the monsters out there,  learnt eventually to fight back with those imaginary ghost characters right from her childhood. she started believing in herself, confronting with her own insecurities , defeating her weakness  realizing her strengths accepting her part of failures and tasting the success which was meant for her soely for her she broke her own cocoon and faced the real world still seeing through his eyes.Those eyes who always guarded her and made her a woman of substance….

No matter how much she grows up,no matter how much strong life makes her, no matter how many highs and lows she has gone through, she still becomes a waggish toddler eager to learn, to take baby steps, to be stable from being capricious , to fall, to learn to ride a bicycle once again when ever he is around.

she is her  papa’s whimsical  girl and will always be ….

love all 

Pallavi